For a long time after having quit LSD I would randomly get flashbacks. They mostly manifested while looking into the blinking of a flame or the broken coloring of sand. I know, weird, but true. I used to love these little visitors. They came like a postcard from the past and brighten the day for me while I reveled in their colors and waves of chaotic energy. Sadly even the memories of these visitors are now faded in my mind’s eye. I can still describe to you what they were like but it has all the imagery of a toddler trying to describe advanced quantum physics. The premise is there but it bears no life. A caricature of a an afterthought of a grand idea, so to speak. Get it? Nah me either. It makes sense in my head but the words fail me utterly.
I might add more to this later…so stay tuned.
I sat and watched a lone ant going about his antly business. And the more I watched this single ant, I realized he was just one among a whole group of ants going about their antly business. I lost track of my single ant among all the other ants and increased my field of view. I sat and watched all the moving things on the ground and realized my ants going about their antly business were just one more moving thing among the other moving things on the ground. The shade of the leaves from the tree above cast it’s shadows in moving patterns in the wind. The moving shadows sliding over the moving things on a moving ground began to make my head swim so I looked up at the leaves swaying in the breeze with their shadows sliding over my face and eyes. Beyond the swaying of the leaves I caught glimpses of the moving clouds. They slid silently between the shifting leaves of the swaying tree and my head began to swim with all the moving and sliding and shifting of the things. I cast my gaze out across the gently rolling grass and my eyes landed on the water. I sat and watched as the waves rose and fell and cast themselves on the sand of the beach. The moving leaves shadowing the moving ground below the moving sky reflected in the moving water made my head swim and I closed my eyes to all of it.
There, behind the lids of my eyes, I found moving lights of various colors. Moving things everywhere! Will my head ever stop swimming? I cried out ‘Stop! Please’ and I opened my eyes again to find all the moving things still in their places still doing all their moving things…and I sighed and went back inside where there are far fewer moving things and I collapsed into a chair determined to not be one.