More Unaswerables

It has been just over a year. I still know nothing more than I did then. I didn’t get to say goodbye.

30 years ago we were the 3 Musketeers. Concerts, cruising around, camping, and lots of other shenanigans. I never thought of saying goodbye forever. It was always ‘see you later’ or some such. The last time the 3 of us were together was at my wedding. We hadn’t all been together for years and yet it seemed like just days. I wish I knew what happened. I wish it hadn’t happened. Toasting by way text on his birthday was a new level of wrongness. Fuck I hate getting old. Love you man. Wish you were here.


Damnit I am sooo sick of the stupidity of my fellow Americans. We had 8 years of High Crimes and Misdemeanors, War Crimes, A Financial Meltdown, Outed Spies, The Twin Towers,,,etc etc etc. And once things look like they might, possibly, have a chance of turning around with a new President and control of both of the Houses, what do the American people do? Why put the crooks, thieves, liars and criminals back into power of course!! Stupidity. Just saw an interview with Boehner and he is still spewing the lie that we have the best health care system in the world and “Obamacare” is going to ruin that. Unbelievable. Does no one in the GOP no how to use google? Do they think that no one else knows how? Here: and and Now I know that some of you will point out that the new report from the World Health Organization is due out next month and that these figures are from 10 years but I would argue that it has not gotten SO much better to raise us much above the rank of 37. 37!!! How in the FUCKING BLOODY HELL is that even remotely “the best health care system in the world”??? And Boehner’s whole issue is to repeal “Obamacare”, the one thing that could help. Smart Johnny Boy Tanned Jerk. Morons surround me. Oh and taxes, let’s not forget that little thing that the Teabaggers rant and rave about. More morons. We just had the biggest cut in taxes and they complain that Obama and Pelosi are out to tax us into bankruptcy. I will have to leave that for another post. I am taking a shower now to wash the stink of the multitudinous morons off me and then going to bed to dream of a future without you all in it.

Scraps of digital me

It is a like any other day. Strike that. It is a day EXACTLY like EVERY other day. I tell myself that today, this glorious day, will be different…but it never is. Today is the day that I must write, I tell myself…but I never do it. And so, here I am staring into the digitally pixelized interweb online version of my sad little life wondering what to write. There are thoughts, a great many of them in fact. There are mentally fleshed out stories that I could work on…but I won’t. You see I tell myself daily that this day I will set pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and I will write…but I won’t. There are far too many things to distractingly digital to put aside for even the most pathetic of writing…sucj as what you are reading now, I know. It doesn’t comfort me that I am writing it any more than it comforts you to be reading it. I apologize. You see there are always just a few more thousand points to score on Bejeweled Blitz. I know that if I only play that one last game I will get an truly righteous high score…but I don’t. Its not as if I am sitting here for hours playing a silly game! I am playing a game that lasts 60 seconds, and it is always just one more game, one more minute…until all the minutes in the day are used up in color matching. Digitized online life in a time suck. And a mind suck come to think of it. Instead of being away from the computer actually talking to people I spend hours reading little blurbs on Facebook or Twitter by random people, many of which I don’t actually know…wasting my time and my life 140 characters at a time(for twitter anyway. not sure what the post length limit is for facebook. note to self: waste time on facebook to find out the max length of a post.)

I have a part of my mind that is reserved just for these colossal wastes of time and I call him Jones. Yes, Jones. Why? Well, because if I don’t sit in front of a computer for as much time as humanly possible he comes to the forefront of my mind and insists that there is some vital piece of email or posting that I am missing. He sends the rest of my mind into withdrawal mode…thus his Name Is Jones. Even as I read a really fantastic book by his holiness Arthur C. Clarke this sad little mental man, Jones, will not go to sleep and leave me in peace for a spell. Perish the thought. But today, unlike every other day, I am beating him back into his corner with a rather large and painful looking stick. Okay so it is really just a mental tongue lashing. But still…

Scraps of poetry float through my head. Lyrics by Megadeth and Train accompany them. Haiku eludes me. Hyperbole, metaphor and simile do as well. “If I know I’m going crazy, I must not be insane.” a scrap of Megadeth. Sigh.

So I managed to break out of the loop of facebook/twitter/bejeweled etc. Now what? Tomorrow, or later, I may be able to actually write something of consequence.